Kyrie Eleison

I am not a concert girl, but music is huge in my life.  Especially worship music.  As a teen and young adult, I attended churches with state of the art sound systems;  praising Jesus through the current chart topping hits seamlessly blended together with a traditional hymn here or there.

The atmosphere was concert like.  It was dark, the screens were lit, and hands all around me were lifted high in praise.  On the one hand, I loved being surrounded by people who obviously loved the gift of great worship, on the other, this introvert struggled to really feel at ease in the bigness and outward expression of it all. Yet those songs formed me then, and continue to do so today. 

Every now and then a song comes along that breaks through the routine and finds its way deep into my soul.  On those times, I long not for a concert with thousands of others, but solitude and privacy; my kitchen pantry usually the preferred location. 

Such was my experience when I came across a new song compiled by many of my favorite worship singer/ songwriters; Chris Tomlin, Matt Redman, and Matt Maher.  An ecumenical powerhouse of voices that proved in a simple song that the Church United is not just a dream, but can one day become reality.  This song, "Kyrie Eleison", (Lord, Have Mercy), brought me to my knees; in my pantry.  For three minutes the frustrations of our current wading in the Tiber and this hybrid state of Evangelical Catholicism fell away, and there was once again, simple Christians united for the sake of Worship. 

The song was modern, but the lyrics were ancient. The voices belonged to chart topping Christian artists, one Catholic, the others non denominational. And it was there in the blending of it all, that I broke down.

This wave of emotions has been swirling around in my head for years. With our backgrounds in non denominational churches, we have the privilege of understanding both sides of the Christian music world.  We see the beauty in Evangelical, lift your hands high worship, and the solid foundations of a great theologically sung hymn found in any Catholic parish.  However, our kids don't have this luxury.  And it weighs heavy on my heart that in only experiencing the hymnal driven worship, they may miss the passion and spirit that is readily available and on display at a less traditional church.

Now as a Mom, and a Catholic, I am constantly questioning whether it is more beneficial to surround oneself with theologically sound lyrics, or that of a simple repetitive melody that proclaims the love and goodness of God.  In the first case, (the traditional hymn), the lyrics could pass a doctrinal test, but are usually too complicated for a child (and many adults) to grasp during the song, let alone remember after the hymnal has been put away.  Yet they have withstood centuries of time, so they cannot, nor should not be easily dismissed and forgotten.

In the simple melody (or modern song of the moment), while the song might not necessarily be filled with complicated doctrines, they are often relatable, memorable, and find their way into daily thoughts throughout the week; reminding one at the most unexpected times, through a simple melody, that God is love.  And I believe because of these benefits, songs like this should be included in a greater number into the Mass. 

Considering all of this, Sundays can be tense with the longing to take a break from the hymnal and field trip my way to the best musically gifted church in the area.  However, it is halted by the conviction that in becoming Catholic, I have accepted that my desires should not dictate my church attendance. I'm not in charge.  Jesus is.  And I believe he desires me to come under the authority and guidance of his Bride, the Catholic Church.

The gift of song is from Him, to be used by us to lift our lives up to him.  And True worship, within the Church is found in no other complete form that that of kneeling before the Eucharistic Lord. No song (even if it makes me feel more alive) can bring me as close to Jesus as his very body within my own.

As we move forward, always learning how to live as Evangelical Catholics, and as effective parents, we try to appreciate the Sacred while the beauty of the new pours from the home speakers.

In Kyrie Eleison, I hear hope. I look forward to the day when all will sing in Heaven together and united. Until then, I'll be in my pantry.  In my dark, dimly lit, private concert arena, showing my kids that passion is alive and well right here in our own home. Quietly thanking Jesus for music, the artists, and all of the churches that praise him every single Sunday.

Kyrie Eleison. 

Lord, Have Mercy. 

Christ have Mercy. 

Lord, Have mercy on me, a desperate sinner in need of you and you alone.

Adoration at World Youth Day

I have so many half written posts that I want to finish up, but then I get stuck mid way and need to do more studying, praying, and thinking before I post.  In the meantime, this clip from World Youth Day of Matt Maher at adoration is one of the most encouraging and beautiful displays of the Catholic Church in all of her fullness that I have ever seen.  If anyone is questioning the humility of the Pope, the devotion of the faithful, or the reverence to which the Church gives our Savior, watch this video.  Matt Maher is faced away from the crowd because he is facing the host of Jesus, on his knees, adoring the Lord.  It is all for Jesus, every word, every note, and every prayer. 

Matt Maher

In any conversion to the Church, there are highs, and deep lows.  On no few occasions, have Kevin and I looked at each other and asked, "Are we Crazy?"  So many times, especially when we have no Catholic friends, or even acquaintance, the easier choice appeared to be to hang it up, and go back to our previous Protestant life.

One such morning, as I was sitting on my couch, in my favorite corner of my way to large sectional, I began to google a few things.  Always slightly dangerous to Google before 7am, but I needed answers.  I had been listening to a song on repeat by Matt Maher, "Christ is Risen."  We had sung it at my Evangelical church, and it was the hot ticket song for the Easter season.  I was bothered by it, because in the song, he continually speaks about the "Church." 
"Oh, Church, come stand in the Light."... "Come Awake, Come Awake,"
It is an anthem to the Church, to rise up, to see that their Savior is not dead, but alive.

I remember as I drove in the car, pre google search, assuming that this Maher guy was a Chris Tomlin esq Evangelical worship guy... thinking to myself, Oh, if he only knew what he was singing about the "Church."  Yes, there is one Church that does need to come awake, and man, if they did, the world would change....

Well google led me to one thing, which led me to another, which led me to my Catholic discovery of the month.  Matt Maher was a practicing Catholic singer/ songwriter who very much knew what he was singing in his song.  The words on the screen will be forever blazed into my memory.  Matt Maher, talking about the Eucharist, Adoration, and the Catholic Church. 

This may sound odd to some, to be so hung up on a singers church origins.  But as an Evangelical  converting to Catholicism, I felt like I was leaving the world of worship songs, great Bible studies, and passionate preaching.  The only well known artists I was aware of were "any church as long as they believe in Jesus," type of worship leaders.  The talent, in my mind, was on the Protestant side of the river.  So when I discovered, (Or the Lord graciously showed me, through Google), that the very artist who was making the largest impact through my radio, was worshipping Him through his Church, it was as if confirmation bells of Hallelujah rang free. 

This grew exponentially when further discovery showed that he was also the writer of one of the most popular praise songs of non denominational churches everywhere: Your Grace is Enough.  Yep. A Catholic wrote that. 

We have been beyond encouraged by many other songs of Mr. Maher's.  And my one thought to the protesting Protestant who claims that all blind squirrels find a nut sometimes.... is this:  Matt Maher is a great song writer because  of his Catholicism.  Not, in spite of it.   The wisdom found in the Catholic Church is profound.  It is Truth, and it is full.  Many of his songs, including "Christ is Risen" are taken from historic Catholic sermons or prayers.  I believe it is why they touch us to the core where other songs could not.  When Truth is heard, it is stirring. 

Every day I am grateful for a Catholic voice among other talented Evangelicals.  I may never know him, or see him in a concert.  But because of Matt Maher, when the songs of the Church are played in my kitchen, I am no longer filled with doubt.