The Little Flower's Flower: Part 1

St. Therese and I didn't hit it off right away.  Many people love her and look to her as their patron Saint, but truth be told...her Story of a Soul didn't stir mine.  I related to the Oxford taught, academic prowess of Cardinal Newman, and the pipe smoking, (I assume), moving classics of C.S. Lewis, and Tolkein.  The sweet cloistered nun out of France seemed too far out of my interest. 

And it started to bother me.  So many of my friends love her that I felt guilty for not understanding. Why could I not relate to the girl who passionately loved Jesus?  I began Googling any search terms I could conjure up to possibly, hopefully, find someone who thought like me. (I couldn't).  Did no one else find her childhood stories too whiny for spiritual nourishment?  Did everyone (but me) relate to her total detachment from society mentality? Why did she write as though interactions with humans were a burden?  My world directly depended on my involvement with society; kids, school; friends, soccer practice; late nights and tired mornings.  How would a stay at home mom with four kids ever become friends with cloistered Carmelite Nun?

In our church we have alcoves with large stained glass windows, each highlighting a different Saint.  Saint Therese stands in one of these, the glass etched with multiple cascading roses. It's also the alcove in which confessions are made.  Imagine giving a confession while staring at the Saint that largely makes you feel like a Catholic outsider.   Then one night as I sat looking at her, receiving God's forgiveness, and words of wisdom from my favorite priest, (who happens to have a strong devotion to St. Therese),  I realized that perhaps I had misunderstood her; perhaps I had expected perfection when instead she was giving an honest account of her life: failures and all.  Perhaps, now in heaven, she would be willing to share her story in a way in which I could understand, if I was willing to try.

I went back to complete her Story of a Soul; to gain greater insight.  Full disclosure; I will probably have to read it many more times.  The writing is somewhat jumbled and it doesn't read as a straightforward biography. And it's not the type of writing that stirs me... but that doesn't make it bad.  After a lot of prayer, I began to see that her theology is, in fact, profound.  Her "Little Way," of doing small things with great Love, is a deep Christian truth.  Becoming a trusting child in the eyes of God, realizing that even insignificant acts could be done out of great love for the Lord. Keeping in mind Matthew 18:3, "Truly I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."

I began to absorb her wisdom slowly, but was still regretting our rocky start. Would Saint Therese want a friend who was skeptical?  Would she rather keep to the kind hearted, gentle Christ followers who openly accepted her ideas and quickly loved her back? If it is true that the Saints can and do intercede for us at the throne of God (Revelation 8:4 and Hebrews 12:1) then I had to make peace with my theological Saint frustrations.  (Oh how God takes our lives in funny directions sometimes!). 

That peace was recently given when her mission to "spend her eternity in heaven doing good on earth" was shared with me in a personal way.  It was then that I  realized her pledge was not a fanciful wish but rather a solemn promise... even to the skeptic.